The F Word

You know the one I'm talking about. You don't dare mention it in front of your baby-wearing buddies. You flame yourself if you whisper it on any parenting blog. So scary and unholy that it's not a four-letter word ... it's five!

Ferber.

I will openly admit that during pregnancy and the early month's of H's life, I turned my nose up to the Ferber method. Did I know a damn thing about it? No. But I was a mom, and that meant doing everything humanly possible to make my child happy. And how on earth could tears fit into that equation?

I've recently noticed, though, that Ferber is everywhere. Not only is his book displayed prominantly in the "Parenting" section of every bookstore, but he's big in pop culture, too -- both "House" and "Modern Family" gave Ferber shout outs this month. Feber is no Voldemort. His name is out there. But why?

I decided that as an educated journalist, not to mention info-hungry mommy, I needed to know. So when my latest Jodi Picoulet novel was complete (highly recommend "19 Minutes" to anyone looking for a good, easy, and thought-provoking read), I turned on the Whispernet on my Kindle and downloaded Ferber's latest edition.

Turns out, Ferber is a pretty rational dude. Not only do his descriptions make perfect sense, they are backed up by lots of research. I have read a lot of parenting books, and many times I sit there and wonder how someone got a six-figure advance to write a book full of common sense. With this one, I feel like I actually learned something.

Also turns out, I had been "Ferberizing" my sweet baby without knowing it. By teaching him to fall alseep on his own, in his crib, I was getting at the basic premise of Ferber's sleep training strategy. No matter if you pick up your child, pat them, or leave them to fuss it out, you are going down that road ... one that will help them as they become toddlers and school age children and being rocked to sleep becomes a little more than just a hassle.

I fully believe that when it comes to nearly all aspects of parenting, the rule of "to each his own" applies. But I also beleive that means respecting those choices other parents make, especially when you don't understand them enough to pass judgement.

I am no sleep expert. H still has nights where he fights bedtime or wakes ready to party at 2 am. But we are well on the road to having a good little sleeper and I know we made the right decisions for our baby.

Plus, the whisky in the bottle wasn't working ... :)