The F Word

You know the one I'm talking about. You don't dare mention it in front of your baby-wearing buddies. You flame yourself if you whisper it on any parenting blog. So scary and unholy that it's not a four-letter word ... it's five!

Ferber.

I will openly admit that during pregnancy and the early month's of H's life, I turned my nose up to the Ferber method. Did I know a damn thing about it? No. But I was a mom, and that meant doing everything humanly possible to make my child happy. And how on earth could tears fit into that equation?

I've recently noticed, though, that Ferber is everywhere. Not only is his book displayed prominantly in the "Parenting" section of every bookstore, but he's big in pop culture, too -- both "House" and "Modern Family" gave Ferber shout outs this month. Feber is no Voldemort. His name is out there. But why?

I decided that as an educated journalist, not to mention info-hungry mommy, I needed to know. So when my latest Jodi Picoulet novel was complete (highly recommend "19 Minutes" to anyone looking for a good, easy, and thought-provoking read), I turned on the Whispernet on my Kindle and downloaded Ferber's latest edition.

Turns out, Ferber is a pretty rational dude. Not only do his descriptions make perfect sense, they are backed up by lots of research. I have read a lot of parenting books, and many times I sit there and wonder how someone got a six-figure advance to write a book full of common sense. With this one, I feel like I actually learned something.

Also turns out, I had been "Ferberizing" my sweet baby without knowing it. By teaching him to fall alseep on his own, in his crib, I was getting at the basic premise of Ferber's sleep training strategy. No matter if you pick up your child, pat them, or leave them to fuss it out, you are going down that road ... one that will help them as they become toddlers and school age children and being rocked to sleep becomes a little more than just a hassle.

I fully believe that when it comes to nearly all aspects of parenting, the rule of "to each his own" applies. But I also beleive that means respecting those choices other parents make, especially when you don't understand them enough to pass judgement.

I am no sleep expert. H still has nights where he fights bedtime or wakes ready to party at 2 am. But we are well on the road to having a good little sleeper and I know we made the right decisions for our baby.

Plus, the whisky in the bottle wasn't working ... :)

All is quiet

H went down about 5 minutes ago. It only took like 30 seconds. Hence, I am expecting him to wake up and realize he's alone in his crib and begin wailing for me to rescue him any moment. But until then...

H's sleep has been an issue of late. When he was itty bitty, we were blessed with an angel who loved his sleep. He first slept through the night at the tender age of 4 weeks, and soon that became the norm. I knew I was lucky, but I also quickly got used to getting 8 hours of shuteye myself.

And then he hit 4 months. As if on a tight schedule, he began what I have heard many call the 4 month wakeful -- a period of dreamland rebellion. He would not fall asleep. When he did, he would wake all night. We're talking once every hour at least. And then it would take a half hour to get him back down. Which meant W and I were getting 10 minute increments of sleep. Not much to work a full day on.

After 18 days of sleep strike, the clouds began to clear. I'm not sure if it was getting him on a more regular bed time routine, or moving his bed time up a smidge, or focusing on getting him to fall asleep in the crib rather than in my arms, but it started to be only 4 wakings a night, then 3. Now he's at 2 or less, and while I know he can go straight through, I'm not pushing it. I'm just so happy to be able to face the days without an IV of high octane coffee (although, of course, I still prefer to).

Knock on wood, MDF, and anything else you got handy, this sticks. Next challenge on the docket: a nap that lasts longer than a sitcom.