Yesterday at 4:45 (my normal pick-up time), I walked into H's classroom.
Why on earth would it take me 1.5 hours to get to my poor, sick boy? What kind of mother does that?
Public transportation, that's why. And me, that's who. Hence, the Bad Mommy sticker I feel like I have plastered on my forehead right now.
I work in the city, H's school is in the burbs. And this city's public transportation system is in the crapper. Trains are infrequent, often late, and enjoy breaking down on periously high bridges for no apparent reason. Despite the call, the next train available was the one I would have taken any other day. And so I sat at my desk for 20 minutes, then sat on the train for another 40 or so, while my overheating babe sat abandoned.
The entire train ride, I willed the car to move just a little faster. I shot death stares at passengers who seemed to take a century to get onboard. I kept thinking about my sweet angel and how he (and his teachers) must be looking at the clock and shaking their heads. OK, so maybe he wasn't looking at the clock, being 6 months old and not being able to tell time and all. But he was judging me!
Upon pick-up, I did what I could to redeem myself. We went to the doctor (clean bill of health, no issues, just probably a passing virus). We kept him home today (lucky W). I snuggled and kissed him to sleep.
But still, I feel like I'm in the wrong. I should work closer. I shouldn't work at all. I should know some secret mommy way to keep the germs away.
Fail. Fail. Fail.
I am sorry that you had such a hard day yesterday; I hate days like that & you did npt fail him in any way shape or form.....keep your chin up & if you do find a way to keep germs away please share because Brayden seems to catch every cold out there :)
ReplyDeleteI have read a few blogs in the past 2 days of mothers of babies our sons' age... they all seem to be coming down with something right now. I have read that it's early teething. The nurse told me that he's at his lowest point of immunities right now. He's lost most of what he had from the womb and even though he's breastfed, he's starting to catch the day care germs - lovely!
ReplyDeleteYou did what you could do. Don't feel bad, the teachers at school are good and know what to do. I get the mommy guilt though, I would have felt the same.
Oh, man :( I'm sorry about all this!
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you this: You are NOT a failure for working. You are doing what needs to be done for your family and no one would ( or SHOULD!) judge you for that.